THE CALL OF THE ETERNITY

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15

THE DIARY OF MEDITATIONS

22.10.1999 21.52 I decided today to keep a diary (after I obtained accurate information of true sadhana). The fourth day of meditations. My practice reached a dead lock. I went out of energy. It happened earlier too, when I practiced without particular effort, in principle, I expected it. But this time I took a clear decision to achieve a stable release, that’s why, when my meditation came to naught in spite of my efforts to stay init, I gave myself up. It is easy to argue about possibility of achievement of release, when you are in energy, and your consciousness feels the support from above, but if you slide down the meditation in spite of your effort to stay in it… I gave myself up. In the first days I took pleasure in the stability, immobility and energy, but in the fourth day I was forced to go out of that state.

In former lives I had to practice and achieve the release. I know, that this time all will be all right. I have still long ago recognized, what was in store for me. My task is to test and show how to get good results in spite of all failures and difficulties. First time I made success rather easy thanks to experience of formers lives. I voluntarily came out of the state of release, though I heard urgent call to give all up and to surrender myself wholly to meditation. It was easy at that time. And now I have to gain my object by myself, falling and rising, as if there were no experience before. True, I did not attempt to achieve the former standard last six years. Five times in all I seriously tried to meditate, but having come across vital problems or because of other reasons, my practice stopped. In December 1997, in Moscow, I have almost achieved a stable standard, at that time I began to write “The Call of the Eternity”. Now, having begun to meditate, I work on the computer again, in order to begin the chapter about the meditation. And what I have seen? Sharp a year ago, at the same day and time, to within a minute, I created the file “The Call of the Eternity”. More than ten months passed after the last enter this file. During ten months I didn’t write anything, as I was faced with the main chapter about the meditation, which I could not write without meditating. I resumed my meditation, I cannot put off more. I gave my word that I should achieve a stable standard till 2000. Today I was out of spirits: I have been meditating, still four days and, as result, slided to the beginning. Probably, it makes one laugh - what do four days mean? I asked the Most High to give me an advice and force to bear this depression, at that time there rushed an idea in my consciousness what I still have known, but constantly lost sight of it. Later I began to re-read yesterday written “four stages of meditation” and “four principles of fulfillment of intention” (I hung them on the wall, having a presentiment of going out from meditation), and began to recognize my mistake. I am short of physical loading or my channels are blocked - in Moscow I had it in plenty, but first time I gad to drive to work, after that training every day. Shri Aurobindo also walked eight hours every day for the sake of Yoga. I began to do kata from karate. A renewed in flew in me, I felt power again. The meditation has resumed. I saw on the side the Way, the Most High leads me to, and recognized once again, what it is doing for. Maybe my way seems to be very difficult, but so much the easier one would follow me.

24.10.1999 15.00 Good luck! I gained my end. Till today I did not succeed in extending my consciousness in comparison with what was in the first. I was vitally expending, my energy strengthened, but utterly expending failed. I did not manage to expend more than one - two meters. Yesterday tonight Andrew visited me (18 years old, performs mysticism during five months), he said, that he practiced expending of consciousness, I explained to him, during three days. Here his words: “I have expended till endlessness… this is something… I have flown away! I don’t expend these two days, but I keep residual state of expended consciousness till now”. Emotions were intense. I told him, how to practice further, advised him not to hesitate halfway. Yesterday my meditation was not a success. I went out of it after Andrew’s visit and talking I expended vitally two or three hours before going to bed, but I did not achieve stable expending. I told Andrew, that it is not allowed for me to go out of my body; I have to get over all difficulties in achieving my object. This morning, after physical exercises, I began to expend again. Later I got a new instruction. I have to start all over again. My task is to show the way, accessible for all people. I remembered, what I have written 18.03.94 in my notebook:

“Meditation.

1.Calm your mind and soul (thoughts and emotions. After that go on advancing.

2. Imagine, that the whole Earth with atmosphere and its biological field present your body (everything, you see around - is your body: people, houses, nature, everything is inside of you). Don’t think about anything, nothing should touch you, even if one gave a slap in your face. Look at the world with glass eyes. Every thing, you are looking at, should be reflected in your consciousness as in a mirror - you see everything, but you don’t make out, your consciousness doesn’t apprehend anything, the main thing is peace of mind, having felt the extension of consciousness and stability of peace, go on extending it.

3.Imagine, that our Galaxy is your body. After that go over to a scale of universe at once.

4.Imagine, that the whole universe is your body. The universe is extended and your consciousness is constantly extended too. Extend within milliards of light years, do it every second without stopping. Don’t think of anything, absolute rest; keep only in your consciousness the image of extending space. This space is so huge, that our Galaxy has been lost in it, to say nothing of our planet. And all this space is your consciousness. This is the God, Single and Almighty. Unite Him! Spread in Him about! ...”

I began gradually to imagine, that my astral body is grown. Firstly up to dimensions of a room, then meter by meter and more, up to dimensions of the Earth, later packet the space up to the Moon, consolidated at that level and began to extend up to dimensions of the Solar System. After that, without haste, I began to absorb nearest stars and step-by-step packed the space of our Galaxy. Having consolidated, and began to extend up to dimensions of the universe. I packed an enormous space, but not the whole universe, so I began to consolidate that image. I did my work without particular effort, step-by-step. The image became more and more real. Suddenly there was heard a soundless clap and I began to extend up to dimensions of created image. There passed about thirty minutes from beginning of the visuality to the real sign of progress. It turned out to be simple. My task was to describe that process in detail. The came some people to perform Yoga and I had to stop my progress. Next stage had to be the achievement of supernatural thinking, but let us not be in a hurry, it will be described in consecutive order.

26.10.1999 23.15 New difficulties and new progress. On Sunday, while progressing, the Yoga did not allow to consolidate the proper level. I couldn’t repeat progressing after I have come out of it. Yesterday I took an instruction what to do. But I decided to go on extending up to a new success. Today I almost achieved my object, but it was still a running start. Then, having analyzed my state, I decided to act according instruction, which I have gained still yesterday. It is necessary to practice the immobility in the endlessness. I began to consolidate the image of the endlessly extended sphere and then to pack it with the immobility, coming from the body. The body was packed with a powerful vibration of the immobility, the consciousness stopped. One can be everlasting in this state. If I had achieved the supernatural level, it would be nirvana. The vibration was really very strong and dense, maybe, it might be passed physically. Then came people, performing Yoga. There rose heat inside of me. I narrated about meditation, because I did not want to practice any physical exercises and pranayamas. We were sitting talking unhurried, but there continued rising heat inside of me, which, it seemed, packed the whole room. I stood up in order to ventilate the room, but it occurred, that other people were quite not hot. Sergey noticed, that the heat was coming from me and he felt it as well. The meditation went on for the rest of practicing, which lasted about four hours in all.

The immobility in the endlessness is the way to nirvana. I recognized, that this immobility should be practiced at the beginning of every hour and the rest of the time one has to extend his consciousness or be in the endless immobility.

Let us see, what is in store for us.

28.10.1999 00.11 Today, to be precise yesterday, I began to practice the immobility in the endlessness. I could not get good results like yesterday’s ones. I was drawn away by the light outside the material Universe. I continued to extend and went out outside space and found myself in the light, surrounding our Universe. I utterly went into the white - transparent light. It began to penetrate into my body and utterly packed it. We have low atmospheric pressure today, it is raining, on such weather conditions I feel powerful internal energy. In spite of physical exercises, I have done, there remained slackening of energy in my legs. The light penetrated into my body and I was plunged in its vibration rather strong and dense. After some minutes all energy blockages were spread about the light, I completely cleared myself. The light has remained all day long, so I had to practice the immobility. It was rather difficult to achieve the immobility in the light, but I succeeded within thirty percent.

28.10.1999 23.30 I extended in the light before going to bed and fell asleep in this state. The meditation and the light lasted even in my sleep, I used that energy in my dreams to work out various problems and to introduce proper order I waked up being in the meditation and lighting up.

I was able to restore the energy of immobility since the light had been no more, but the light appeared before my eyes as a pulsation like a stroboscope.

Practicing Yoga I discover a method for learning people of go into energy of immobility and meditation. I did not expect it by myself. Practicing people were also surprised at the easiness of going into meditation. Sergey was even confused: “Now, that’s something like! That’s something like! You don’t say so! I did not believe, that I would master meditating so quick. But so at once… I did not expect it. Now I feel, that I shall do a great deal, if I continue in the same spirit”. I felt enthusiasm by myself, now I know, how to learn anyone meditating and how to bring him to the release. Now people don’t need experience such torments in their advance. In order to know by experience of nirvana you don’t need grope your way in the dark, alternating successes and failures. I was given a task of mentalising the whole process. Of course, practicing people should make some efforts to consolidate on an achieved standard, but one doesn’t practically make any efforts to use experience of those energies. Firstly I wanted to describe that method for “The Call of the Eternity”, but this book has for an object not to show the innermost knowledge, but to turn people to the path of spiritual perfection. Let us consider it as an initiative for the immediate delivering to seeking people.

10.11.1999 12.37 Let us begin with the fact that on Thursday the fourth November, came a girl, 17 years old. She felt energy and fell into a trance at once. It was practically unnecessary for her to explain anything. Towards the end of the performing she went into meditation without any explanations. Next time, on Saturday, it was found, that she was able to be in padmasana more than half hour, having said, that it was convenient for her. Moreover, she made pranayamas during the day three times in twenty minutes, for all that the inhalation, hold-up and exhalation were in fifteen seconds. On that performing we worked on chakras and spine. She felt all chakras except of anahata (heart) moreover her Kundalini began to stir. In the evening I told my friend, that that girl was, for sure, a yogi in former life, that she seemed to be a goddess incarnate (I thought to myself, that she seemed to be Shakti incarnate). On Sunday I asked her to remain after performing. She told me that she had no affections towards anybody in that life, that she despised people (problem of anahata chakra), she had no friends and she was not going to acquire them, that she associated with people in case of need only. She also said, that as for as she could remember herself, from childhood, she was ever like that (probably, people have offended her badly in former life - in my opinion). Yesterday, on Tuesday, I set astral music before performing in order to show anahata chakra. On that performing I laid stress on anahata. Vika (it was her name) said, that she has had pain in her crown before (was pressed and pulsed) and that day she had pain in her heart firstly in the sphere of physical heart and later the whole anahata chakra (the day before I have worked on her chakras on astral double). She felt anahata badly again, so I said, that there was a soul in the heart and, when anahata chakra starts to show, then a man becomes the love and compassion incarnate, she answered, she was not going to experience such feelings. Vika remained to meditate after performing. Since I have said goodbye to people, she asked, why she experienced a feeling to burst into tears. I was glad and said: “At last!” I explained once more how to meditate:

About a half hour she meditated on her anahata chakra with closed eyes, attempting to take compassion on the world around. What happened inside her soul, you could read in her face - the compassion was breaking away from her, she was ready to burst into tears. After that meditation she said, that she has not ever experienced emotions like those. I asked: “So strong?” - “No emotions at all” - she answered.

She was also very pride (blocking in vishudha chakra), I advised her to repent of her pride at home during twenty minutes. The we meditated together in the endless space, later I gave meditation on descending of Shakti:

It is unnecessary to say, that the results turned out quite well. After some minutes she was full of energy, her body grew numb. I advised her to perform that meditation in the evening after taking a steam bath of the head till coming to bed.

 

16

TESTS IN PRACTICE

Victoria, 17 (after two weeks practicing):

I never was fully satisfied in ordinary temporal life as compared with other people: study, work, family, children, old age, death… I did not want and I could not live like others. Some acquaintances of mine performed mysticism, astral travels, but I refused to be interested in it as well, as they kept ordinary people in everyday life with their problems and wishes, their life, maybe, could be more attractive and fully, nothing else. But I desired something real, eternal. Once in my sleep I dreamt about a grey old man with beard and long hair, wearing white clothes, he gave me a lecture long time, telling me how to live another way of life, that there was a way out of the impasse, that it was possible to develop spiritually and achieve release (I did not know about release earlier). After a week I saw anahata advertisement on the door of the central shop: ‘Course of Yoga and Meditation. Sanitary Yoga, Higher Yoga, Integral Yoga. Theory and practice, Lectures, Work on Consciousness and Energy”. I was not going to join any circle, but suddenly something struck me, I remembered the telephone number and phoned after some days. Practicing room was equipped in a flat. What I called my attention at once to, was the music, which was heard quite softly and it was impossible to understand, where the music was heard from. I felt light giddy, it seemed, as if I was absorbed in somewhere. I got rid of that delusion and drew it out of my soul, but it kept outside - as if something pressed from different ways, anahata immovable energy, which attempted to penetrate in me, it was rather pleasant. One can say, that I feel into a trance and remained in it all two hours of performing. When we were working on energy balls, by arms grew dumb up to elbows, I all over was practically in energy, as if I swam in it. Toward the end of the performing I was explained, how to go into meditation and energy with all consciousness. After two minutes I was shrouded by the dense energy, which pressed from different ways, it was even difficult to breath.

After that I used meditating day by day: at home, in the institute. Some days I was constantly in the current of descending energy, which always filed me. Some days later I felt cleaning - strong weakness, I was trembling all over. I phoned Nicolas and he explained me, what was to do. The weakness has passed, I went hot and cold all over I felt low next day, so I came ot performing earlier than usual. Nicolas sat me in front of him and started to meditate, then he took my hands. At first I felt vibration in my palms, then the vibration began to rise through my arms and filed the whole body. I plunged into a warm energy, which vibrated strongly, my chakras started to pulse, so I could feel them distinctly. Nicolas said, that it was shaktipat, i.e. transmission of spiritual energy.

After two weeks, right from the start of my performing, I was explained, how to concentrate the energy of immobility of Universe on myself and I was able to accomplish my first two shaktipats.

Svetlana Nicolayevna (after two weeks practicing):

The main thing, I have liked on performing, was the fact, that even I, materialist, never expected to feel anything delicate, for example anahata energy, could feel, practically physical, clots of energy, performing some exercises. I could believe before, that it is possible at all.

I should like to describe the first shaktipat, which I got from Victoria. Nicolas told her something in a whisper, then he asked me to sit in front of her (I had no idea, what would happen later). Victoria closed her eyes and plunged in meditation, after twenty seconds she took my hands. At first I did not feel anything, then I was warm in the area of contact with hands, then I felt vibration, which became stronger and rose as pulses through arms upwards, then enveloped the whole body. I felt strong waving of energy inside of my body, waves rushed and rose upwards. I happened within five minutes.

At night of that day I had a bad dream. I waked up with the feeling of fear in the chest. I was staying in bed some time, feeling fear as a separate substance, as if taking a detached view of that feeling. At a moment I felt, that if took up feeling above my head. At first it seemed to be thickening of air above my head, then a feeling of anahata occasional pain as goose flesh in the skin of the head. That feeling became stronger in the area of my crown. My hair seemed to be electrified or elevated in roots. Then I felt pulsation in that area, which were spread inside of my head and further into my body, filling it. At a moment I felt, that a constant current of energy passed through my body, piercing it from my crown to feet and further.

Usually you don’t feel you body, except of the case you have a pain somewhere. When your body is filed with energy, you feel your body being a vessel, filled with something pricking occasionally, pulsing, undulating.

Natalia Vasilyewna (after two months of practicing):

Once I read an advertisement about Yoga performing, I rang up and began my training. The Yoga - teacher was a young man. After a few trainings I became to feel energy around my arms and in the whole body. Then I was learned pranayamas and one day, being at home after Yoga performing and doing pranayamas, I felt a light, coming from above, passing and piercing my body through. The feeling was unusual and delightful.

Generally speaking I am anahata invalid, I constantly felt low and jaded, but all those was over after I started to performance Yoga, I became energetic, cheerful, as if I grew young for about ten years. After a month of training we found out a light method of going into meditation. In some minutes we went into a strong energy, thoughts and consciousness stopped utterly without any efforts, all happened naturally and easy.

There is a girl in our group - Vika. Nicolas asked her to turn over the energy through out hands. While doing it with me, I felt powerful waves of energy flew over me, she utterly filled me with energy. Later, in the evening a cosmic energy began to descend on me, a very strong current of light, which filled my body and made me light. I noticed, that there happened various pleasant things as: if I think about a person, then this person will come or phone me without fail, my wishes began to be true. While doing pranayamas I was filled with energy so much, that my hands became hot as anahata electric iron, it seemed to me, that if I touch something, then it will catch fire at once. Moreover, at night, in my sleep I began to write verses, even not write verses, they got into my head itselves, so I waked up because of it. They prevented me to sleep. But I did not write them down, as I believe, that they were imperfect and weak. Once, in my sleep I performed a singer and sang a song in Ukrainian, though I myself, being a Russian, don’t speak Ukrainian and having waked up I remembered both words and melody, though I haven’t heard that song before.

One day I brought my acquaintance for performing and passed her the energy through hands, as I believed to have a strong energy (I was let know before, that I could pick up anahata illness or a dirty energy). She had diseased spine and she went bending aside. While passing energy she felt, that something straightened her, forced to draw herself up. Later, at home, trying to meditate, a light began to flow on her and filled, as she said, the whole room. But afterwards I was in low spirits, I lost contact with energy, my abilities were missing, I had to restore everything over again.

Olga, 34 (after three months practicing):

After I started to perform Yoga I noticed that my attitude has been changed, going along the street and looking at people and world around me, I began to experience overflowing feeling of love, it found expression in me and filled the space around me. My meditation was turned out not good enough, so, even if I feel the energy of immobility, it seems to be “weak”. While performing only, it happens, that I go into a deeper immobility. Lately I experience a ceaseless current of light, flowing in me day and night, it calms me, puts all motions of soul in order, and last week I went into the area above my head and was in that state some days. It is astonishing, that being in boundless space above my head, I mean, that it was always so, as if my home is here and I always has been here.

Lena, 25 (after one month practicing):

I aspired to self-perfection; to lie bore the mystery of existence of mankind. The study of philosophy and religion revealed unsolvable questions: what is True, what is wisdom? I couldn’t answer those questions; I experienced the feeling of restlessness, diffidence, and dissatisfaction.

A month ago I saw anahata advertisement about course of Yoga, something “turned over” inside of me, but I went on from force of habit. But I did not go away very far, I had to return and memorize the telephone number. After a week I found myself on the first performing. That, what was somewhere deep in my soul and sometimes tried to direct and to prompt me, unexpectedly began to thaw out, warm up, the sense of harmony, peace and power began to fill me. If felt energy just on the first performing, especially the space of room, it seemed to be the continuation of my body, I also felt the energy, descending from anahata chakra.

Little by little I began to learn meditating. There also was a transitional period, I really felt myself like a convalescent - confused, vain, with a strange sound in my head. Performing the extension I seemed to lose touch with the Earth and with my body, I was taken away as in the flight… My body began to fill with energy. I can’t describe that state of joy, bliss, power I could feel. My physical abilities have increased last week. Now I feel descending Power, I feel Light, in which I spread.

About six years ago I purchased a book in a bookshop. I don’t know why, but I those Shri Aurobindo, the book “The Synthesis of Yoga”. Recently during meditating I remembered, where and when I have purchased that book and it was found, that my teacher has set out the book.



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